Whispers of the Soul by Nadia Nizam

 Yesterday, I sat across from my best friend over coffee, watching her shoulders sink under the weight of something no one else in the room could see. Eventually, it came pouring out—the quiet pressure she lives with every day. The way her older siblings, and sometimes even her mother, keep reminding her of every favor they’ve ever done for her. Not as love, but as a ledger. A running account of sacrifices she is expected to repay with silence, obedience, and gratitude. Every time she asks me to meet for coffee, I already know what’s behind it. Another round of blame. Another emotional ambush disguised as concern. Another attempt to keep her trapped in a cage built from guilt and obligation. I love her fiercely. But I also know that comforting words rarely fix wounds that were created over years. Sometimes the only thing I can offer is laughter, stupid jokes to lift the fog, even if just for a moment. Because I’ve lived this story too. I know how these emotional games work. I know ...

Women, it's important to remember that you don't have to take on everything and strive to be a supermom, a super housewife, a super professional, or a superwoman. Because when your body demands attention and care, only a few will remember that you tried to juggle all these roles. So, it's crucial to step out of the house and explore the world, take walks, engage in workouts, visit parks or gyms, indulge in foods that bring you joy, take time to groom yourself, prioritize adequate rest, wear clothes that make you feel good, be true to yourself, prioritize self-care, love yourself, learn to say no when necessary, and do all of this exclusively for your own well-being. Remember, children grow up and eventually leave the nest, husbands may not always be present, work can easily find replacements, and the house will inevitably become messy again. However, your emotional health is equally important, and opportunities for a second chance may be rare.

 During my recent visits to Pakistan, I made a decision to address the prevalent issues of depression, lack of peace, intense competition, hatred, and jealousy among the people. Every individual seems to talk about others' jealousy toward them, while secretly harboring jealousy themselves. Acceptance of others' happiness is rare, and everyone is engrossed in worries and challenging circumstances. The poor struggle for basic sustenance, while the rich relentlessly pursue more material possessions. They are caught in an unending battle with each other and with life itself. Unfortunately, they fail to recognize the gravity of their own distressing situations. In their relentless pursuit of proving themselves right, some individuals are willing to go to extreme lengths. They resort to dishonesty, mistreatment of others, hypocrisy, and belittling tactics. Their primary objective is to impose their own opinions forcefully onto others, disregarding differing perspectives or the potent...

Never gossip about your wife to your mother, father, brother, or anyone else. The words you share about her should always honor and protect her spirit. Your marriage is built on a foundation of trust, and every word you speak about her should reflect that commitment. When you marry someone, you choose to love them fully—not just during the good times but also in moments of frustration. Sharing those frustrations with others can erode the sacred bond between you. Remember, she is pure-hearted. In her, you find a partner who trusts you with her heart and soul. Speaking about her flaws or mistakes to others can chip away at the trust she has placed in you. Instead of airing her imperfections, cherish the qualities that made you fall in love with her. Hold her close in the space of your heart where love, not judgment, resides. You chose to marry her, not your family. The promises you made on your wedding day are a commitment between the two of you, not a matter to be weighed by others. You...

 One of my blood relatives always say in front of others that respect is earned and she delusionally thinks of herself as being very respectful, and that people respect her a lot.  On the other hand, I don't follow that philosophy of "respect is earned." I respect everyone automatically, and then each person has the opportunity to lose my respect based on their behavior. I have always said this: Respect is automatically given. It's up to them to keep it and make it grow. Another reason I deny that quote, That's because the original phrase was "trust is earned"... respect, by definition, cannot be bestowed upon anyone until they've demonstrated the characteristics behaviors that both elicit and deserve this honorable recognition. Respect is a deep admiration for someone's abilities, talents, achievements, etc. I would say there's a difference between treating someone with manners and kindness and respecting them. The definitions of respect are...

  During my recent ten-day visit to Pakistan, I decided to explore the culinary scene in Islamabad by visiting several renowned restaurants. Due to the prevailing inflation crisis, the value of the dollar was high, prompting me to initially opt for the most expensive eateries. Throughout the first week, I indulged in breakfast from one establishment, lunch from another, and dinner from yet another. Additionally, I paid visits to various bakeries, despite not being particularly fond of Pakistani desserts, simply for the sake of enjoyment. To alleviate any potential stomach issues, I made use of Pepto-Bismol. Given my family's affinity for oriental and exotic cuisine, we have made it a priority to travel and sample food from around the world. Consequently, I resolved to experience the diverse cuisine offered by Islamabad's new restaurants. To my surprise, however, I found myself unable to consume more than a few bites and ended up leaving much of my meals untouched. Astonishingly...

 Upon returning to my home, I felt a deep longing for every single aspect of it. This experience led me to a profound realization about the root causes of depression and the stressful lives lived by many in Pakistan: the absence of engaging hobbies and hands-on activities. People there are consumed by the ceaseless pursuit of comparison and material possessions, which leads them to overlook the crucial importance of inner peace and connecting with nature. In contrast, I find solace and inspiration in planting seeds of joy, cultivating serenity, and witnessing the beauty of nature come alive. As the winter rains and frost subside, my plants begin to bloom, filling my heart with delight. Each plant emanates a vibrant energy that fuels my motivation for embracing life in all its facets. 

Recently, I had the chance to meet someone who appeared to be quite outspoken and was striving to maintain a false front of happiness and success. However, it became evident that her restless mind only contributed to chaos and caused numerous problems. Upon closely observing her challenging life and inconsistent behavior, I was truly taken aback. It is often observed that individuals who lack inner strength or resilience tend to exhibit a louder and more boastful demeanor when faced with failure or setbacks. However, when they achieve success or triumph, they become more reserved or humble, possibly due to a fear of losing their newfound status or a lack of genuine confidence. In recent times, I have noticed that people generally seem fine until you engage in a deep conversation with them. It is during these conversations that you come to realize that we are part of a generation filled with individuals who are grappling to endure. Despite their cheerful countenances and seemingly perfe...

 I recently visited Pakistan and closely observed the older and younger generations. It became evident to me that there are significant differences between older and younger women, particularly when comparing my mother and her khala to women of my generation. As I sat in front of them, I couldn't help but reflect on the incredible strength and consistency displayed by both of them. They were raised side by side, got married, raised numerous children, and survived within a large joint family system from a young age. They built countless enduring family relationships and served as the backbone of their homes, all while being resourceful in order to make the most of their husbands' limited income. Every wrinkle on their faces told a story of struggle. I witnessed both of them comparing their hands, proudly showcasing the signs of hard work. They stood tall, yet remained down to earth, patiently listening to our seemingly insignificant and exaggerated tales of struggle. In contrast...

 Oh, how delightful it is to be the talk of the town, To give them such an interesting topic that they can't put down. They whisper behind my back, those cunning souls, Trying to manipulate the narrative to meet their goals. But fear not, for the tables have now turned, I stand tall, no longer the one who's spurned. No longer will I be walked over and used, I've learned my lesson, I can't be abused. My story may not matter, that's quite clear, But life has happened, it's left its mark, I fear. I've been hurt, I've healed, and I've grown, And now I know who deserves a place of their own. Those who brought chaos, they can stay away, I no longer beg for love, I'm not here to play. I choose who I want around, who I'll let in, This life is mine, and I won't let guilt win. So call me the villain, if that's what they say, I've finally stood up for myself, come what may. No, I don't seek revenge, I let karma do the work, As I move on,...

Recently, I witnessed someone continuously criticizing a mature child, engaging in ridicule and gossip, and mocking him in the presence of servants. They persistently belittled his personality and compared him unfavorably to other children. The child approached me, sharing all the details with a great deal of anguish. I am still deeply shocked by this painful experience and cannot forget the sorrow endured by the child's parents. It reminded me of my own mother's anguish when people used to mock her children. It leaves me wondering how individuals are able to let go of their past. Like our elders and ancestors, i could just ignore and forget but I would like to address all educated parents and implore them to prioritize the safety and well-being of their children and become their advocates. Do not allow your children to become targets of such individuals within your social circle. These people will continuously undermine you through criticism and comparisons, creating a sense o...