Trust is earned not respect.....

 One of my blood relatives always say in front of others that respect is earned and she delusionally thinks of herself as being very respectful, and that people respect her a lot. 

On the other hand, I don't follow that philosophy of "respect is earned." I respect everyone automatically, and then each person has the opportunity to lose my respect based on their behavior. I have always said this: Respect is automatically given. It's up to them to keep it and make it grow.

Another reason I deny that quote, That's because the original phrase was "trust is earned"... respect, by definition, cannot be bestowed upon anyone until they've demonstrated the characteristics behaviors that both elicit and deserve this honorable recognition. Respect is a deep admiration for someone's abilities, talents, achievements, etc.

I would say there's a difference between treating someone with manners and kindness and respecting them. The definitions of respect are "a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements" and "due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others." I believe you can easily be polite without feeling admiration or even thinking about their wishes, rights, or traditions. Politeness is given until you show you are not worth respect. You also have the ability to deepen that respect through respectable behavior. 

Respect is earned by giving respect. Basic respect is given, and respect for one's whole self is earned. I don't care if you're older than me, I'll give you common courtesy, and that's the end of it. It's up to you whether I respect you more or less beyond that. True, but there are different kinds of respect, and the one being referred to here isn't the respect that is earned. There is a "baseline" respect that we give to every human being, and then there is a special kind of respect that has to be earned through proper behavior. Basic respect is given upon meeting someone; I respect their right to live and do what they please as long as it doesn't harm others. All other respect is earned, either through a show of character, intellect, or action.  

Civility, politeness, open-mindedness, etc., are the proper mindset when meeting people; respect is the next level and should be earned. The respect you are referring to is about showing courteous or polite behavior, which is very different from respect based on the good character of a person that is gained by showing honesty, trustworthiness, and integrity. Some got this all wrong. 

It is trust that is earned, not respect. Respect is deserved. That is my philosophy regarding respect as well. Now, trust, on the other hand... I don't trust or distrust someone until I get to know them. I don't distrust them until given a reason to, nor do I trust them until they demonstrate that they are trustworthy. I can respect everyone without causing harm to myself. Trust, however, given to the wrong person can cause damage. I have a responsibility to myself and my loved ones to be careful in whom I trust.

 I am courteous to everyone. My respect is earned. Courtesy is how I treat them. Respect is what I think about them based on my interactions with them and my knowledge of their achievements. Respect is having a sense of admiration for something. You can respect the ocean, respect fire, etc. Courtesy is how you treat others.

 I think people these days confuse the two. I think people are confusing respect with basic kindness for our fellow man. Kindness is given; how it is received and just as importantly returned, now that is the foundation on which respect is built. 

It's impossible to respect someone based on assumptions of their integrity. Earning respect is way better than demanding it, right? People nowadays demand respect even if their behavior doesn't seem so appropriate. They need to fix their behavior towards one another so they'll earn the respect that they demand. People who respect themselves respect others. You can't disrespect others and respect yourself at the same time. 

So instead of earning respect by money and materialistic ways, we should focus on our strong character and try to earn trust. Attention seekers need respect, the right people go for mutual trust and the empathetic nature.

Nadia Nizam