Whispers of the Soul by Nadia Nizam

In our homes and communities in Pakistan, a pervasive issue plagues us: the relentless pursuit of control. It's as if a psychological knot binds us, compelling everyone to manipulate and dominate one another. We all harbor a desire for others to dance to our tune, to live life as we dictate. While we may not always live our own lives to the fullest, we often seek to dictate the lives of those around us, making their existence unbearable. Parents want to control their children, expecting them to follow their every command. Husbands seek to dominate their wives, while wives, in turn, scheme to control their husbands. Sisters demand that their wishes prevail, and daughters-in-law strive to seize control of the household. It is rare to witness a son, guided by Islamic principles, gathering his sisters and mother to discuss their father's inheritance and urging them to claim their rightful shares promptly, easing the burden on their deceased father who will be questioned by God. Thi...

 اپنی زندگی کو کسی کے لیے عیاں نہ کریں حسد ہمیشہ وہاں سے آتا ہے جہاں لوگ آپ کے گھر آ کر آپ کے حالات اور دولت کو جانتے ہیں۔ کوئی آپ کو نقصان نہیں پہنچا سکتا جب تک وہ آپ کے گھر کی تفصیلات نہ جانتا ہو۔ کوئی بھی آپ کے منصوبوں کو ناکام نہیں بنا سکتا جب تک آپ خود اسے اپنا راز نہ بتائیں۔ آپ کا راز آپ کا قیدی ہے، لیکن جیسے ہی آپ اسے کسی کے سامنے ظاہر کرتے ہیں، آپ خود اس کے قیدی بن جاتے ہیں۔ بعض اوقات حسد کرنے والے لوگ مشورے کے پردے میں آپ کو نقصان پہنچانے کی کوشش کرتے ہیں۔ کوئی آپ کے خاندان کے لیے سازش نہیں کر سکتا جب تک وہ آپ کے گھر میں کثرت سے آتا جاتا نہ ہو۔ کوئی بھی آپ کی کمزوریوں کو نہیں جان سکتا جب تک وہ آپ کے قریب نہ رہا ہو۔ ہر عزیز کے لیے بھی ایک حد مقرر کریں۔ یہ توقع نہ کریں کہ کوئی آپ کے راز کو محفوظ رکھے گا، جبکہ آپ خود اسے چھپا نہ سکے۔ یہاں میرا مطلب یہ نہیں کہ آپ لوگوں سے رابطہ ختم کر دیں۔ نہیں، ہرگز نہیں۔ بلکہ یہ کہ آپ حدود کا تعین کریں اور ان حدود کو عبور نہ ہونے دیں۔ اپنی زندگی کو کسی کے لیے مکمل طور پر ظاہر نہ کریں، کیونکہ لوگ کب بدل جائیں، یہ آپ کو معلوم نہیں ہوتا۔ جو لوگ...

While sharing my life experiences with my daughter, I’ve come to realize something important about trust. Once I see a person's true nature, it becomes difficult for me to trust them completely. I may stay in touch, but my belief in them will be diminished, and I will remain vigilant for their next move. There is a saying: you can change nurtured behavior, but not nature, because nature is innate—it's in a person’s blood. A loser will remain a loser, even when given great opportunities in life. A selfish person will always be self-oriented, focused on "I," "me," and "myself." Someone with bad intentions toward others will never find peace, as karma has a way of catching up with them. We must also be aware that some individuals, like snakes, may stay close to us, silently observing our lives and waiting for the right moment to strike. These can be friends or family—often, it’s those we trust and respect the most who can cause us harm.  These harmful...

Today, my daughter overheard someone on the phone using harsh language and a ruthless tone. She couldn’t believe that I was laughing loudly and enjoying the whole situation. She asked, "Mama, was he drunk while talking?" I laughed for a long time, imagining that guy with a double shot of vodka in one hand and texting with the other. My daughter said, "Mama, you didn’t mind it at all." I replied, "My dear, on a serious note, I actually enjoy people like that. When someone is disrespectful, it shows nothing but immaturity and arrogance. Try not to take it personally; it’s not really about you, but rather a reflection of their own character. Only those who are unhappy with themselves are mean to others. When someone is trying to hide something and gets caught, they often react like shallow cowards to mask their insecurities.  Every unsuccessful person shares the same story: they showcase fake power by shouting, disrespecting others, and displaying arrogance. That’...

 Bert Hellinger said the "black sheep" of the family (they should be called "lions of the family") are actually born seekers of liberation paths for the family tree "Those who from a young age constantly sought to revolutionize beliefs, leaving the paths marked by family traditions, those criticized, judged and even rejected, those, are usually called to free the tree of repetitive stories that frustrate entire generations." "Those that do not adapt, those who shout rebellion, play a basic role within each family system; they repair, detoxify and create a new and flourishing branch in the family tree. Thanks to these members, our trees renew their roots. His rebellion is fertile land, his madness is water that nourishes, his stubbornness is new air, his passion is fire that rekindles the hearts of the ancestors." "Let no one make you doubt, take care of your "rarity" like the most precious flower in your tree. "You are the dre...

I started succeeding when I stopped fighting small battles. I no longer engaged with those who gossiped about me, as that would have been a waste of my energy. I chose not to fight with my siblings, cousins and in-laws, as those types of conflicts are often unproductive. I stopped seeking attention or trying to meet others' expectations of me, as that can be a distraction from pursuing your own vision. I also stopped fighting for my rights with people who were unlikely to listen or change. I realized that I needed to pick my battles wisely, and leave the petty fights for those who had nothing better to focus on.  Instead, I redirected my time and effort towards fighting for my own vision, dreams, ideas, and destiny. The day I gave up on those small, unwinnable fights was the day I started becoming truly successful. The key insight here is that not every fight is worth your time and energy. You have to choose what you're going to devote yourself to very carefully. Focusing on yo...

 The Sorrows of Ancestral Homes Ancestral homes are uniquely divided into courtyards, halls, verandas, airy rooms, and kitchens, yet connected to one another. In these homes, worn red brick floors and lime-washed damp walls are overgrown with rampant vines. Tall grass grows in the center, while a mango tree and a lemon tree stand sentinel, embodying a perpetual mourning as they silently gaze in one direction. Inside, the atmosphere is also uniform. Brass and copper utensils rest on the shelves, waiting for hands that dust and polish the furniture, while bowls and teapots remain empty. Clothes and linens stored in closets wait to be taken out, and walking sticks, wheelchairs, and canes search for hands to lean on. Framed family pictures—black-and-white and sepia photographs—along with old suitcases and sacred books, are placed on shelves, as well as ancient literature from Baba Adam's time; everything sits in its own designated place. The inhabitants of these ancestral homes are now...

You don't just lose someone once. You lose them over and over, sometimes many times a day. When the loss, momentarily forgotten, creeps up and attacks you from behind, fresh waves of grief wash over you as the realization hits home—they are gone, again. You don't just lose someone once. You lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn. As you awaken, so does your memory, along with the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart—they are gone, again. Losing someone is a journey, not a one-off event. There is no end to the loss; there is only a learned skill of staying afloat when it washes over you. Be kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea. They have a journey ahead of them, and every day brings a shock to their system as they realize— they are gone, again. You don't just lose someone once. You lose them every day, for a lifetime. It takes a village.

Many Pakistanis dream of settling abroad, believing it offers better opportunities and a higher quality of life. However, this decision to leave one's homeland is often bittersweet.  When a young Pakistani crosses that metaphorical gate to pursue their fortunes overseas, the place they once called home no longer feels like their true home. There is a sense of finality to this decision - no longer can they simply return as they once did. Their room, their family home, becomes a place preserved more in memory than in daily life. As they board the plane and watch Pakistan fade into the distance, a profound realization sets in. The life they once knew has been left behind, and they must now start afresh in a foreign land. They are no longer just a common person, but an expatriate navigating the challenges of adapting to a new culture and environment. The distance from family and friends becomes a constant source of pain and guilt. The family back home may initially mourn the absence of...

 In the realm of adolescence, where emotions run wild, There dances a girl, just fifteen, an enigmatic child. She navigates a world of change, where hormones ebb and flow, And in her heart's tempest, her true self seeks to show. Her behavior, oftentimes, a puzzle to unfold, A mix of contradictions, a story yet untold. She yearns for independence, to spread her wings and soar, But still clings to childhood, uncertain of what's in store. Her moods can be a tempest, swirling fierce and strong, One moment filled with laughter, the next, a mournful song. She battles inner demons that nobody else can see, And struggles to make sense of her own identity. She questions societal norms, rebels against the grain, Challenging authority, seeking freedom from the chain. Her defiance can be daunting, a whirlwind of unrest, But beneath that fiery surface, a tender heart beats in her chest. She craves validation, acceptance, a place to call her own, Yet fears rejection, judgment, feeling painfu...

1) Statistically the biggest indicator of success at 32 years is having self-control when a kid is 12 years old. Success is determined by a lot of factors namely no drug , no criminal violation, having a stable job, good citizenship etc 2) Make your kids speak their native language at home and with you. Reduce generation gap by involving their grandparents in their lives. If possible try to convince their grand-parents to move in with you. 3) Make them feel proud of their heritage. Kids nowadays are ashamed to talk their language or wear their cultural attire. In a quest to fit in and assimilate they want to no longer associate with their roots. 4) Have a friend circle with folks whose kids also are able to communicate in the same mother tongue. This way the kids can talk the language among themselves. 5) Do not give them smart phones until you know they are responsible. Buy them a dumb phone if required. This phone will fulfill the needs. 6) He went onto compare America...