Gaslighting

 Gaslighting - a tactic in which a person, group or entity seeks to gain power and domination by making someone/a group question their reality. It’s a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders and almost everyone is susceptible to it. It’s done slowly, so people never realize how much they're being brainwashed until it’s too late. 

11 characteristics of gaslighting:

1. They tell blatant lies and even tho you know they’re blatant lies, it confuses you because they say it often and with a straight face. Are they telling the truth? Maybe they are? Am I wrong? This sets up a precedent where you begin to question your own reality and sets you down the path of self-betrayal. You become unsure, unsteady and off-kilter, (made crazy) which is their goal. 

2. They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof. You know they said it but because they vehemently and confidently deny it, you start to question your memory. The more they do this, the more you question your reality and start accepting theirs. 

3. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition. They know how important your identity is, your fears, your vulnerabilities, your money, your safety, your humanity. They attack the very foundation of your being. 

4. They wear you down over time. This is one of the insidious things about gaslighting—it’s done slowly, over time. A lie here, a lie there, a contemptuous comment every so often until it snowballs. Even the brightest, most self-aware people can be sucked into it. It's the "frog in the frying pan" analogy: The heat is turned up slowly, so the frog never realizes what's happening.

5. Their actions don’t match their words. When dealing with a person or entity that gaslights, always pay attention to what they do, not what they say. What they say means nothing. What they do means everything. 

6. They say they’re joking to confuse you. This person or entity that cuts you down, tells you that you don't have value, then writes it off as a joke. This makes you question yourself - am I being too serious? Are they really that bad? Yes, they are. This is a calculated attempt to keep you off-kilter and to question your reality.

7. They know confusion weakens people. We want a sense of stability and normalcy so they work to take that away from you to make you question everything. Unfortunately our natural tendency is to look to the very person or entity to help us feel more stable but in these situations, they’re the ones destabilizing you.

8. They project. If they are a cheater or a liar, they will accuse you of cheating and lying. If they are nasty, they accuse you of being nasty. This is done so often that you become obsessed or distracted with defending yourself rather than awake to the their lying and cheating behavior. 

9. They align people against you. Gaslighters are masters at manipulating and finding people that will stand by them no matter what, and they use those people against you. They make comments like, "They also just said that there has been absolutely no collusion. They just said that. Yesterday. Two days ago. Senate. There has been no collusion," or "I heard they eat cats and dogs." This doesn’t mean that anyone actually said these things. This tactic is used to make you feel isolated, suspicious and unsure of who to trust. Isolation gives them more control.

10. They convince others that you are the crazy one. This is an effective tool because it causes people to dismiss you. If they question your stability, sanity or integrity enough, people won’t believe you when you tell them that the person is abusive or out-of-control. 

11. Finally, they convince you that everyone else is a liar. By convincing you that everyone else (your family, the dems, the media) is a liar, it has you question your reality. It’s a powerful manipulation technique as it makes people turn to the manipulator and liar for the “truth”—which of course isn't the truth at all.