My Narcissistic.............

 The narcissist is not really going anywhere, the rejection stage is just an illusion. You may not be useful or needed to the narcissist at the moment, you may not serve any of his goals, but the narcissist will try to come back.

He/She will always find a way to come back into your life and make you believe that you found him/her. A narcissist has a lot of arrogance and pride, a narcissist will not come back and behave as if it was his/her decision, he may call you or text you, he may also appear in places where he knows there is a very high probability, that he will find you there. He/she may then act as if you were the one who contacted him, as if you were the one who found him and not him finding you.

The narcissist has to pretend he doesn’t need you, he has to make it seem like you need him when in reality the narcissist needs you, and that’s why the narcissist never really leaves for good. He may appear to be leaving, usually to get some emotional response from you, but a narcissist isn’t going anywhere, he’s always lurking somewhere, watching and waiting for the right moment to come back. The narcissist is always watching you, keeping an eye on you and never moving forward.

Why does a narcissist never leave?

This is because he needs supply, he needs your supply, he sees you as an extension of himself, he sees you as an object that belongs to him and exists to serve him.

There is no separation in a narcissist’s mind, you cannot separate yourself from him, you are part of him, which gives the narcissist the right to you, the right to harass you and make your life miserable.

This makes the narcissist believe that he has the right to come back to you whenever he wants, because in his mind you are his property, you belong to the narcissist. Even if it looks like the narcissist has dramatically left you, that it’s over forever, it’s actually only a matter of time before the narcissist returns. He will come back without closure, he will come back as if nothing had happened as if nothing ever ended, the narcissist can also blame it all on you, even if he was the one who rejected you, even if the narcissist was the one who left without any closure or explanation.

A narcissist only cares about his own needs, he will say and do anything to meet his needs, he will do anything to achieve his goals. This even happens at your expense, because the narcissist does not include you, does not take you into account. The narcissist sees this as collateral damage. It’s normal that people die in war, it’s normal that in a relationship with a narcissist the partner loses, that’s how the narcissist approaches it.

It doesn’t make any impression on him, he doesn’t care about you and he’s not interested in what will happen to you as a result of his actions, and if something bad happens, he will usually be happy about it, he will take sadistic pleasure from your pain. and suffering.

A narcissist never really leaves, not because he cares about you, but because the narcissist needs you, you are like oxygen to him, you are needed to sustain his life just like a ventilator. You are helping him survive emotionally, it has nothing to do with love. The narcissist is not even aware of the meaning of love, the narcissist only cares about what he wants and you have what he wants so the narcissist will keep coming back to you. You are like a gas station - every time the narcissist runs out of gas, he comes back to you for a refill, for a canister, for a hot dog, for a full tank, for a trunk full of canisters. As soon as the narcissist refills his supplies and fuel level, he runs away in search of another source of supply, another gas station. The narcissist has never truly loved you, is incapable of love, and has never truly cared for you.

The narcissist’s brain is wired differently - it is constructed in such a way that he only has the ability to take care of himself. They’ll always want you back because you have seen their true nature. Especially if you’ve been with them for years, they’ll feel like you’re their property. They may not come back right away but eventually they’ll make their play to come back especially if they seen that you’ve moved on or doing better without them.

You can’t count on a narcissist, a narcissist won’t take care of you, you have to take care of yourself. 

Narcissistic relationships frequently do not last very long, as the narcissist will soon become insecure and reactive if they feel they aren’t getting enough adoration or benefit from their new partner too.

Relationships may last a few months or years but if the narcissistic tendencies aren’t healed, eventually their every relationships will break down.

Regarding coming back to old supply ..often their discard is temporary and the narcissist will eventually return to their old partners back if they become convinced there is still something to be gained.

But very soon they will repeat the whole cycle again and discard their you again.

However, if the narcissist continuously has their ego stroked, enough to keep their self-esteem fed, they can maintain a long-term relationship with one partner in very rare cases.

When do people finally walk away from a narcissist?

When the only choice you have left is the very one you have been trying to avoid making. Any amount of time spent within a toxic relationship will shed a few home truths on the person who is staying in it OR returning to it time and time again. The narcissist has their part to play and the person in it has theirs. The ‘ol “it takes two to tango” as a relationship faux pas is still very much the case within a narcissistic abusive relationship as it is within a ‘normal’ one.

People will finally walk away only when they are good and ready. People will normally go back for a few rounds more.. walk away, walk back, walk away, walk back.. WHY - mainly hope, mixed in with the love and a bond to which is commonly referred to as the ‘trauma’ kind. When the person realizes after all they know, all they experienced, all they learnt, all they tolerated, all they tried and as much as they wanted this to work… It simply never ever will. They hopefully give up.

There is something else magical that happens along with the way too… If you are honest with yourself, you realize it is now you contributing to your own abuse and boy doesn’t that suck. You have tried to love the narcissist ‘better’ and each time.. You are kicked harder for your efforts - crazy that the harder you try to love them, the more they will kick you in the bollocks. knowing nothing you can do nor say will have an ounce of difference on a person who sees YOU as the problem is when you have a very BIG and final decision to make.. And will you make the right one?

Harsh truth is like a big wet fish slap in the face. You can’t save a narcissist. You can only save yourself.. what’s left of you at least..

The narcissists will create a whole lot of drama to make you believe that you lost someone amazing. But guess what? It's all a big hoax! The truth is, they never break up with anyone. They just love causing drama, just like they did throughout the entire messed up relationship. Discarding a partner is just another power move for them. This is just part two of the clown show they're putting on.

Their way of discarding is absolutely terrifying and leaves the victims in complete shock. Then they go into a long period of giving you the silent treatment to show you who's in charge. It's disgusting!

And just when you think you're done with their nonsense, they come back and try to hoover you in as a big "fuck you." Seriously, do they really think you're that much of a fool? Well, they'll be happy to know if you say yes. The game is on and they're leveling up.

That's just how their twisted minds work. Breakups usually come with closure for mature and reasonable people. But narcissists? Oh no, they just temporarily discard you until they realize you might be useful to them again. I'm so glad I'm starting to feel sick even thinking about this cruel and immature person who doesn't deserve a second thought. But hey, I won't judge myself. I'm healing.

They do it because they're spoiled and cruel, just like those kids who think they're above everyone else. They remind me of King Joffrey I Baratheon from Game of Thrones. My narcissistic ............ was just like that, pretending to be nice but actually being sadistic and self-centered. They're nothing but bullies.

Let me tell you the truth. Narcissists are losers, and the game only ends when you want it to. So, they never actually break up with anyone. We badass survivors are the ones who break up with narcissists when we cut off all contact and put an end to their stupid and hurtful childish game.