Happy New Year Message

 The year ended with lots of beautiful memories and some lesson learned events. 2023 will always be very special to my heart. Those who thinks that new year must start with new resolutions and forget the past, I say start with the lessons one has learnt in the past year events. "It has been said, 'Time heals all wounds.' I don't agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.

I sit back and observe every person in my life, whether we talk every day or not. I know who motivates me and genuinely cares for me. I also know who talks about me behind my back and gossips just to pass the time, but also smiles in my face. I know who I can trust and who to keep a distance from. Whether I say anything or let you be fake... Trust me... I know.

My silence speaks volumes, and my absence will let you know exactly where I stand. I'm not one to respond or react to fools. I remove myself from them. I know my place in people's lives and act accordingly. It's not pride; it's self-respect. And I think there are two things you don't fight for: true love and true friends. They come naturally into your life by the grace of God.

I've been kind to people who probably didn't deserve it. I've fought some battles that weren't mine to begin with. I've shown up for those who didn't see me for me. I'm sorry for speaking too loudly, talking too much, taking up space, and making mistakes. I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry I have opinions of my own. I'm sorry I dared to have feelings. I'm sorry I allowed my emotions to show. But, actually, I'm not sorry. I've just been conditioned to apologize a lot.

The only person I actually need to apologize to is myself for apologizing so much just for existing. So, I won't be apologizing anymore for things I shouldn't have to apologize for. I have bathed in the waters of poisonous words that pour out from behind smiling lips. I no longer cower in fear of your hatred. I do not tremble at the thought of rejection. The power you once had over me has faded. I have grown immune to your venom. You say I've changed... Maybe... maybe not... but yes, I have been changed.

Maybe your apologies just aren't welcome here anymore. It was never forgiveness you were seeking, only my surrender. Now, I ought to be kind to every part of me, to fight and survive even when I'm lonely, to show up for myself without overanalyzing it. After many years of experience, I have learned a few lessons.

- Never discredit your gut instinct. You are not paranoid. Your body can pick up on bad vibrations. If something deep inside of you says something is not right about a person or situation, trust it.

- They can't stand that they can't control you, so they try to demonize you instead.

- Stop listening to the voices of other people. Most would love to keep you small to gratify their own insecurity. Tell yourself who you are and watch as you become it. Remember, opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another's world.

- A friend will not (literally) share your struggles, and a loved one cannot physically take away your pain, and a close one will not stay up the night on your behalf. So look after yourself, protect yourself, nurture yourself, and do not give life's events more than what they are really worth. Know for certain that when you break, no one will heal you except you, and when you are defeated, no one will give you victory except your determination. Your ability to stand up again and carry on is your responsibility. Do not look for your self-worth in the eyes of people; look for your worth from within your life conscience. If your conscience is at peace, then you will ascend high, and if you truly know yourself, then what is said about you will not harm you.

- Don't carry the worries of this life because this is for Allah. And do not carry the worries of sustenance because it is from Allah. And do not carry anxiety for the future because it is in the hands of Allah. When Allah stops hiding a person's real intentions, when He finally starts to show you what some people are like, you realize a lot more than you ever imagined. You begin to dislike them because of their crooked intentions towards you. You become a lot less tolerant around them; you begin to distance yourself from them because you know that is best for you. Sometimes, Allah will rescue you from the most toxic relationships because He knows you are too forgiving and need to be saved. Remember, nothing that happens in your life is random. Everything is planned by the Best of the Planners: every failure, every closed door, every stumbling block, every success, every disappointment has all helped make you into who you are today. Thank the Almighty for everything. Carry one thing: fulfill pleasing Allah, because if you please Him, He pleases you and enriches you. There is a beautiful saying about human's lifetime: "But they plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners." (Surah Al-Anfal, v.30)

- Just remember, we are all toxic. Every single human being is capable of being toxic, has been, currently is at times. But some people have the desire to be educated on it and do better while others will ignore any accountability and continue to act the same way.

- When the people you've always protected then become the people you have to protect yourself from, you begin to lose hope, trust, and the desire to be vulnerable anymore. You fear loving others, getting attached, and even enjoying moments fully with people because you've learned that anyone can switch up on you- no matter how long or how deeply you think they've known or loved you. I have learned one thing from life. That you can be important to someone, but only when it's for their benefit. So always be ready to be alone. Some people suddenly change. Today you are important to them, tomorrow you are not, and that's real life.

- Instead of offering judgment, let's offer

compassion, empathy, grace & understanding. Let's remember our own imperfections and always treat others the way we long to be treated.

- A person who doesn't defend you while someone talks bad about you, is your enemy too.

- People can destroy your image, damage your personality, create rumours about you but they can never take away your good deeds. Because no matter how they describe you, you will always be admired by those who know you best. Remember, You become your best self when you work on things that people can't take away from you. Mindset, character, personality, transparency, communication.

That's the real upgrade. And that's my future visionary goal of life. 

"People who have done something wrong

to me will forever think my posts are all about them. Dedicated to everyone who wonders if I'm writing about them.

YES

I am."

Many prayers and thoughts for everyone entering the new year. Celebrate it with the true self-worth and respect. May God bless us the peaceful life 🙏 

HAPPY NEW YEAR 

Nadia Nizam