Whispers of the Soul by Nadia Nizam

  Transparency is crucial in all relationships , whether familial (between siblings, parents, and children) or romantic (such as marriage). A lack of transparency breeds mistrust and dishonesty. For instance, if someone is secretive or evasive about a joint venture, it raises reasonable suspicions that something is amiss. Honest and confident individuals value fairness and transparency because they prioritize truthfulness. Conversely, those who attempt to manipulate others through deception often find that their tactics are easily perceived, leading to a loss of trust. In every relationship, transparency is a key, Without openness and honesty, mistrust and dishonesty can flourish. However, if an individual tries to outsmart or manipulate others, such tactics are often transparent and counterproductive. Attempting to be overly "clever" at the expense of others' well-being tends to backfire, as people generally distrust those who are perceived as underhanded or manipulative...

 This Punjabi proverb, "ٹگے دی ہانڈی گئی تے کتے دی ذات پہچانی گئی," translates to "The cooked food is wasted, but the dog's nature is revealed." The proverb explains that in the old days, people were very wise and perceptive. To determine a dog's breed, they would prepare various foods in pots, remove the lids, and let the dog loose. If the dog ate from every pot, it wasn't blamed; instead, its poor breeding was held responsible. The pots could be replaced, but the dog's true nature was revealed. The analogy is then applied to human relationships. If you've poured your heart and soul into someone, only to be met with disloyalty, it's not your fault, nor necessarily theirs. Their actions are a reflection of their inherent nature, just like the dog's behavior revealed its breed.  Someone who has a habit of poking their nose everywhere cannot settle for just one thing. This is neither your fault nor the fault of that person; they too are co...

A friend asked another friend, "What gift did your husband give you when you were happy about having a baby? "The friend replied, "Nothing at all!" She then questioned, "Is this even a reasonable thing to say? Does he not value you at all in his eyes?" This venomous remark spread like a bomb, leading that friend to wrongly judge others based on her own thoughts! Later, that husband came home and, after a conversation, expressed his frustration about being cursed by his peers for his wife's lack of respect. Eventually, he ended up giving her a divorce! Do you know where the roots of problems begin? From such trivial sentences, this friend came to realize! Similarly friend asked his best friend:"Where do you work?" A friend replied: "At such and such shop!" "How much is your monthly salary?" Reply: "18,000 rupees!" Next question: "Only 18,000? How do you manage to live on that?" Reply, taking a deep breat...

In a conversation with my husband about forgiveness, I expressed my thoughts on the matter, shaped by my life experiences. He believes that I should not forgive those who have hurt me. My response, as usual, reflects my nature: I do not hold grudges until death nor seek revenge. Each good or bad experience serves as a testament from Allah, who is judging my strength and patience. I truly believe that He is there to help me, to teach me lessons, and not to take revenge. For me, Allah’s lessons are meant to open my eyes and remind me not to place my trust in anyone except Him. He understands my kind and supportive nature. Each difficult chapter in my life has stemmed from trusting the wrong people and caring for them without limitations. It is through these challenging situations that Allah reveals the true nature of those individuals, warning me to set boundaries and distance myself from dishonest people who seek to exploit me for their own gain. I choose to forgive them and leave their...

Whether anyone agrees or not, the biggest liar and the biggest thief in this country is the common man. This common man, whose collective is the public, is extremely shameless and dishonest. This common man is neither in politics nor in the establishment! He is neither a bureaucrat nor a general! Yet, he is the greatest tyrant; he is the biggest enemy of other common people like himself! When he sells fruits, he deliberately puts rotten ones in the bag. When he rides a motorcycle, he becomes a curse for pedestrians and drivers. When he drives a wagon or a bus, he drives it like a harbinger of death, causing people to flee! When he drives a tractor-trailer or a dumper, he becomes an angel of death. When he sits as a clerk in a government office, he hisses like a snake and bites like a scorpion. When he goes to pray, he does not come back. The applicants wait in vain and leave disappointed. When this common man is a shopkeeper, he considers customers his slaves and himself a master. Buy ...

 Confronting a manipulator about their wrongdoings can often feel like stepping into a psychological minefield. When you bring up their behavior, you might expect an acknowledgment or an apology, but instead, they may deftly turn the conversation around to focus on you. This tactic, known as gaslighting, is designed to make you question your own perceptions and feelings. Usually, manipulators start labeling you, using derogatory terms or casting doubt on your character, and may even dig into your past experiences to deflect attention from the main issues at hand. They know how to distract the world by gaslighting others, creating a smokescreen that obscures their own faults. This manipulation often stems from their own past failures, unsuccessful life choices, and inherent dishonesty, which fuel their need to control and distort reality for others. By projecting their insecurities onto you, they attempt to shift the blame and maintain power in the conversation. As you navigate this...

 The way people perceive you is a complex tapestry woven from their personal experiences, beliefs, and backgrounds. Often, I reflect on the various roles I inhabit in the narratives of others, realizing that to some, I am a villain, while to others, I am a savior. This dichotomy highlights a fundamental truth: their perceptions are largely shaped by their own histories and biases, rather than an accurate reflection of my true self. For instance,  My vibrant personality might be seen as charming by some, yet perceived as overwhelming by others. Similarly, the emotional openness that some find comforting can be viewed by others as a sign of weakness. Even my self-confidence, which I see as a source of pride, can be interpreted as arrogance in the eyes of a different observer.  This inconsistency underscores a critical lesson: I have no control over how others interpret my actions or character. Therefore, it’s essential to focus on self-acceptance and authenticity rather tha...

Do you know who is the most threatening woman to our society?   The one who truly knows herself and value her worth. A woman with self-esteem can be recognized by her personal boundaries. She is a woman who firmly says "no" and distances herself from any place or relationship that does not acknowledge her worth or essence without hesitation. A woman who values herself never begs for respect! She naturally establishes this in her relationships because she respects herself. In her life, no man acts disrespectfully, no friend speaks rudely, and no relative behaves inappropriately that she would tolerate. She removes all of them from her life. Her life is characterized by a sense of royalty, not based on wealth, but on her dignity, respect, and standards, which align with her true value. A woman with self-esteem never uses her emotions, needs, or desire for support as an excuse to remain in toxic or deceitful relationships. She easily distances herself from anything unworthy of h...

Today, my daughter overheard someone on the phone using harsh language and a ruthless tone. She couldn’t believe that I was laughing loudly and enjoying the whole situation. She asked, "Mama, was he drunk while talking?" I laughed for a long time, imagining that guy with a double shot of vodka in one hand and texting with the other. My daughter said, "Mama, you didn’t mind it at all." I replied, "My dear, on a serious note, I actually enjoy people like that. When someone is disrespectful, it shows nothing but immaturity and arrogance. Try not to take it personally; it’s not really about you, but rather a reflection of their own character. Only those who are unhappy with themselves are mean to others. When someone is trying to hide something and gets caught, they often react like shallow cowards to mask their insecurities.  Every unsuccessful person shares the same story: they showcase fake power by shouting, disrespecting others, and displaying arrogance. That’...

 Bert Hellinger said the "black sheep" of the family (they should be called "lions of the family") are actually born seekers of liberation paths for the family tree "Those who from a young age constantly sought to revolutionize beliefs, leaving the paths marked by family traditions, those criticized, judged and even rejected, those, are usually called to free the tree of repetitive stories that frustrate entire generations." "Those that do not adapt, those who shout rebellion, play a basic role within each family system; they repair, detoxify and create a new and flourishing branch in the family tree. Thanks to these members, our trees renew their roots. His rebellion is fertile land, his madness is water that nourishes, his stubbornness is new air, his passion is fire that rekindles the hearts of the ancestors." "Let no one make you doubt, take care of your "rarity" like the most precious flower in your tree. "You are the dre...