Whispers of the Soul by Nadia Nizam

 The way people perceive you is a complex tapestry woven from their personal experiences, beliefs, and backgrounds. Often, I reflect on the various roles I inhabit in the narratives of others, realizing that to some, I am a villain, while to others, I am a savior. This dichotomy highlights a fundamental truth: their perceptions are largely shaped by their own histories and biases, rather than an accurate reflection of my true self. For instance,  My vibrant personality might be seen as charming by some, yet perceived as overwhelming by others. Similarly, the emotional openness that some find comforting can be viewed by others as a sign of weakness. Even my self-confidence, which I see as a source of pride, can be interpreted as arrogance in the eyes of a different observer.  This inconsistency underscores a critical lesson: I have no control over how others interpret my actions or character. Therefore, it’s essential to focus on self-acceptance and authenticity rather tha...

Do you know who is the most threatening woman to our society?   The one who truly knows herself and value her worth. A woman with self-esteem can be recognized by her personal boundaries. She is a woman who firmly says "no" and distances herself from any place or relationship that does not acknowledge her worth or essence without hesitation. A woman who values herself never begs for respect! She naturally establishes this in her relationships because she respects herself. In her life, no man acts disrespectfully, no friend speaks rudely, and no relative behaves inappropriately that she would tolerate. She removes all of them from her life. Her life is characterized by a sense of royalty, not based on wealth, but on her dignity, respect, and standards, which align with her true value. A woman with self-esteem never uses her emotions, needs, or desire for support as an excuse to remain in toxic or deceitful relationships. She easily distances herself from anything unworthy of h...

Today, my daughter overheard someone on the phone using harsh language and a ruthless tone. She couldn’t believe that I was laughing loudly and enjoying the whole situation. She asked, "Mama, was he drunk while talking?" I laughed for a long time, imagining that guy with a double shot of vodka in one hand and texting with the other. My daughter said, "Mama, you didn’t mind it at all." I replied, "My dear, on a serious note, I actually enjoy people like that. When someone is disrespectful, it shows nothing but immaturity and arrogance. Try not to take it personally; it’s not really about you, but rather a reflection of their own character. Only those who are unhappy with themselves are mean to others. When someone is trying to hide something and gets caught, they often react like shallow cowards to mask their insecurities.  Every unsuccessful person shares the same story: they showcase fake power by shouting, disrespecting others, and displaying arrogance. That’...

 Bert Hellinger said the "black sheep" of the family (they should be called "lions of the family") are actually born seekers of liberation paths for the family tree "Those who from a young age constantly sought to revolutionize beliefs, leaving the paths marked by family traditions, those criticized, judged and even rejected, those, are usually called to free the tree of repetitive stories that frustrate entire generations." "Those that do not adapt, those who shout rebellion, play a basic role within each family system; they repair, detoxify and create a new and flourishing branch in the family tree. Thanks to these members, our trees renew their roots. His rebellion is fertile land, his madness is water that nourishes, his stubbornness is new air, his passion is fire that rekindles the hearts of the ancestors." "Let no one make you doubt, take care of your "rarity" like the most precious flower in your tree. "You are the dre...

I started succeeding when I stopped fighting small battles. I no longer engaged with those who gossiped about me, as that would have been a waste of my energy. I chose not to fight with my siblings, cousins and in-laws, as those types of conflicts are often unproductive. I stopped seeking attention or trying to meet others' expectations of me, as that can be a distraction from pursuing your own vision. I also stopped fighting for my rights with people who were unlikely to listen or change. I realized that I needed to pick my battles wisely, and leave the petty fights for those who had nothing better to focus on.  Instead, I redirected my time and effort towards fighting for my own vision, dreams, ideas, and destiny. The day I gave up on those small, unwinnable fights was the day I started becoming truly successful. The key insight here is that not every fight is worth your time and energy. You have to choose what you're going to devote yourself to very carefully. Focusing on yo...

 The Sorrows of Ancestral Homes Ancestral homes are uniquely divided into courtyards, halls, verandas, airy rooms, and kitchens, yet connected to one another. In these homes, worn red brick floors and lime-washed damp walls are overgrown with rampant vines. Tall grass grows in the center, while a mango tree and a lemon tree stand sentinel, embodying a perpetual mourning as they silently gaze in one direction. Inside, the atmosphere is also uniform. Brass and copper utensils rest on the shelves, waiting for hands that dust and polish the furniture, while bowls and teapots remain empty. Clothes and linens stored in closets wait to be taken out, and walking sticks, wheelchairs, and canes search for hands to lean on. Framed family pictures—black-and-white and sepia photographs—along with old suitcases and sacred books, are placed on shelves, as well as ancient literature from Baba Adam's time; everything sits in its own designated place. The inhabitants of these ancestral homes are now...

You don't just lose someone once. You lose them over and over, sometimes many times a day. When the loss, momentarily forgotten, creeps up and attacks you from behind, fresh waves of grief wash over you as the realization hits home—they are gone, again. You don't just lose someone once. You lose them every time you open your eyes to a new dawn. As you awaken, so does your memory, along with the jolting bolt of lightning that rips into your heart—they are gone, again. Losing someone is a journey, not a one-off event. There is no end to the loss; there is only a learned skill of staying afloat when it washes over you. Be kind to those who are sailing this stormy sea. They have a journey ahead of them, and every day brings a shock to their system as they realize— they are gone, again. You don't just lose someone once. You lose them every day, for a lifetime. It takes a village.

The worst part of family dynamics is the sibling rivalry caused by perceived parental injustice and favoritism between children. Parents' unequal treatment and behavior towards their kids can create toxic relationships between siblings from a very young age, which often persist into adulthood. This can manifest as jealousy, resentment and, in some cases, a complete breakdown in the sibling relationship. Favoring one child over another creates an imbalance and disunity between siblings. Some parents may prioritize the more successful or obedient child, leaving the other sibling(s) feeling neglected and inferior. This can breed silent hatred and a desire to compete with the "favored" child. In other cases, parents may show preference based on gender, valuing daughters over sons or vice versa.  When young minds are subjected to constant comparison and unequal attention, it can lead to the development of hidden animosity towards each other. This animosity may then translate i...

Many Pakistanis dream of settling abroad, believing it offers better opportunities and a higher quality of life. However, this decision to leave one's homeland is often bittersweet.  When a young Pakistani crosses that metaphorical gate to pursue their fortunes overseas, the place they once called home no longer feels like their true home. There is a sense of finality to this decision - no longer can they simply return as they once did. Their room, their family home, becomes a place preserved more in memory than in daily life. As they board the plane and watch Pakistan fade into the distance, a profound realization sets in. The life they once knew has been left behind, and they must now start afresh in a foreign land. They are no longer just a common person, but an expatriate navigating the challenges of adapting to a new culture and environment. The distance from family and friends becomes a constant source of pain and guilt. The family back home may initially mourn the absence of...

"Dude you are the real black sheep of our family. I am proud of you." When talking to my cousin, he referred to me as the black sheep of our family. Which I proudly accepted as a badge of honor. The so-called "black sheep" are often the family's liberators, challenging norms and seeking new paths. I may not conform to traditional expectations, but my rebellious spirit can revitalize the family tree, breaking free from repetitive patterns that hinder generations. I am  often criticized and misunderstood, am driven by a desire to break free from the status quo and create a more fulfilling future.  My family, by its very nature, might resist change, making the black sheep's journey difficult. However, my unique perspective and courage to forge my own path is invaluable. We are the ones who dare to question the norm, inspiring you to think differently and embrace your individuality.   As I reflect on this label, I realize that being the "black sheep" i...