Your Mom Is Not Your Enemy

My Dearest Children,

If there’s one thing I need you to understand, it’s this: your mom is not your enemy. I know I don’t always express myself perfectly, and sometimes my words may sting, but please believe me—my heart is always in the right place.

I carried you within me, felt your first movements, and endured the challenges of pregnancy to bring you into this world. I made sacrifices, eating healthily during cravings to ensure your well-being, even when it was difficult. Pregnancy is often seen as a time of pampering, but I faced it alone, caring for myself and your dad. I dealt with nausea and fatigue, all while managing household chores until I entered the labor room. Do you remember those countless nights I stayed awake when you were sick or sad? Or how I consistently put your needs before my own? I willingly gave up pieces of myself so that you could be whole.

Being a mom in today’s world is different. Society often tells you that you know everything, that my wisdom is outdated. It sometimes feels like you push me away for trying to share what I’ve learned over the years, and that hurts more than you realize. I understand that Google and AI provide information, but they cannot offer the warmth and genuine love you need in tough moments. They cannot protect you or feel for you, as I did when I carried you for nine months and longed for your arrival.

I know you wish for space, but how can I give you that when you came out from my very private space? 

My love might not always look the way you expect. Sometimes it manifests as worry, a constant hum in the background of my life. At times, it comes out in tough words I know you need to hear, and in moments of silence filled with deep concern. But behind every action and every word is a love so profound it can’t be measured.

I’m not trying to control you; I’m trying to protect you. I want to shield you from the pain I’ve known, to spare you from lessons that broke me but ultimately made me stronger. Every warning, every lecture, every tear, and every prayer is my clumsy way of saying, “I want you safe. I want you happy. I want you to have a life even better than mine. I want to see you confident and whole, so that no one can hurt you emotionally.”

I am not perfect, but my love for you is as close to unconditional as you will ever experience. I would sacrifice my own happiness for yours without a second thought. I would stand in the fire to keep you warm and fight battles you may never know about, so you wouldn’t have to carry that weight.

There’s a haunting phrase I hear: “Just like mother, just like daughter.” This reflects a common perception without considering individual differences. I fought for you when our families criticized American culture, insisting it wasn’t suitable for Muslim kids. I stood firm when questions arose about your religious education, ensuring you learned more than the average Pakistani and incorporated those lessons into your daily life. I chose to raise you in American public schools among diverse people, confident that you would develop your own identity rather than feel superior as a Muslim.

Remember, I will always be there to teach, protect, and defend you when you are right. A mother has a strong intuition about her children; she can sense when something is amiss. Sometimes I will speak up, and other times I will remain quiet until it’s necessary to intervene. I can’t be your friend until you become a mom and understand the profound blessings of motherhood.

I will be your biggest cheerleader in success, the softest place to fall when you stumble, and I will always forgive you, even when you hurt me deeply. My love doesn’t keep score; it doesn’t run out, and it will never give up on you.

At the end of the day, please remember that I am not against you. I am here for you, always and without reservation. I am the only one who will love you at your absolute best and still choose you at your absolute worst. Even when I’m old and my body weakens, my heart will beat for you. And when I’m gone, you’ll realize that no one will ever pray for you, fight for you, or love you with the same fierce intensity.

So, please respect me while you can, by not lying, cheating and disrespectful.  A mother’s love is the greatest, most enduring blessing you will ever receive in this lifetime.

With all my love,

**Mom**