The wounds remain.....

It has been said, `'time heals all wounds.' I don't agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.

I sit back and observe every person in my life, whether we talk everyday or not. I know who motivates me and cares for me genuinely.

I also know who can talk about me, behind me and to find something to gossip about just to pass time with but also smiles in my face.

I know who I can trust and who to keep distance with.Whether I say anything or let you be fake...

Trust me...I know.

My silence speaks volumes and my absence will let you know exactly where I stand. I'm not one to respond or react to fools. I remove myself from them. I know my place in people's lives and act accordingly. It's not pride, it's self respect. And I think there are two things you don't fight for & that is true love and true friends. They come naturally in your life by the grace of God. 

I've been kind to people, who probably didn't deserve it. I've fought some battles that weren't mine to begin with. I've shown up for those, who didn't see me for me.

I'm sorry for speaking too loud, talking too much, taking up space making mistakes. I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry I have opinions of my own. I'm sorry I dared to have feelings, I'm sorry I allowed my emotions to show.

Im sorry, but actually I'm not. I've just been conditioned to apologize a lot.

The only person I actually need to apologize to is me for apologizing so much just for existing.

So I won't be apologizing anymore for things I shouldn't have to apologize for. I have bathed in the waters of poisonous words that pour out from behind smiling lips. I no longer cower in fear of your hatred. I do not tremble at the thought of rejection.The power you once had over me has faded. I have grown immune to your venom. You say I've changed..Maybe..maybe not... but YES I HAVE BEEN CHANGED. 

Maybe your apologies just aren't welcome here anymore. It was never forgiveness you were seeking only my surrender. 

 Now I ought to be kind to every part of me, to fight and survive even when I'm lonely, to show up for myself without overanalyzing it. After many years of experience, I have learned few lessons.

* Never discredit your gut instinct. You are not paranoid. Your body can pick up on bad vibrations. If something deep inside of you says something is not right about a person of situation, trust It.

* They can't stand that they can't control you, so they try to demonize you instead.

* Stop listening to the voices of other people. Most would love to keep you small to gratify their own insecurity

Tell your self who you are and watch as you become it. Remember, opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another's world.

* A friend will not (literally) share your struggles, and a loved one cannot physically take away your pain, and a close one will not stay up the night on your behalf. So look after yourself, protect yourself, nurture yourself and do not give life's events more than what they are really worth. Know for certain that when you break no one will heal you, except you, and when you are defeated no one will give you victory except your determination. Your

ability to stand up again and carry on is your responsibility. Do not look for your self-worth in the eyes of people; look for your worth from within your life conscience. If your conscience is at peace then you will

ascend high and if you truly know yourself then what is said about you will not harm you.

* Don't carry the worries of this life because this is for Allah. And do not carry the worries of sustenance because it is from Allah. And do not carry anxiety for the future because it is in the Hands of Allah. When Allah stops hiding a persons real intentions, when He finally starts to show you what some people are like, you realise a lot more than you ever imagined to. You begin to dislike them because of their crooked intentions towards you. You become a lot less tolerant around them, you begin to distance yourself from them because you know that is best for you. Sometimes, Allah will rescue you from the most toxic relationships because He knows you are too forgiving and need to be saved. Remember, Nothing that happens in your life is random.

Everything is planned by the Best of the Planners, every failure, every closed door, every stumbling block, every success, every disappointment has all helped make you into who you are today. Thank the Almighty for everything. Carry one thing: fulfills pleasing your Allah. and Because if you please Him, He pleases you, enriches you.

There is a beautiful saying about human's lifetime, 

"But they plan, and Allah plans. and Allah is the best of planners"

Surah Al Anfal v.30

This quote highlights the idea that although time may lessen the pain of wounds, they are never completely healed. The author reflects on their observations of the people around them, distinguishing between those who genuinely care and support them and those who gossip and deceive. They emphasize the importance of self-respect and knowing one's place in others' lives. The author expresses a readiness to no longer apologize for existing and to prioritize their own well-being. They also discuss the significance of trusting one's instincts and not allowing others to control or manipulate them. Instead, they encourage focusing on self-care, self-worth, and finding peace within oneself. The author acknowledges that Allah's plans are greater than human plans and encourages gratitude for all experiences, as they shape who we become.

Happy New Year To All.

Nadia Nizam