DO NOT JUDGE A MOTHER

 When a mother is running late in the morning, you can be sure that she has already had a full day. Murphy's Law applies: if something can go wrong, it will. And it's safe to assume that things have been going wrong since the moment she opened her eyes.


If a mother's house is messy, just assume that she is constantly picking up after her beautiful little tornadoes who follow behind her, scattering things about. And as soon as she cleans up the milk someone spilled, another child runs off with the jelly, leaving behind stickiness that seems to last for days.


If her sink is full of dishes, assume that most of them accumulated just this morning (even when it's not the case). Because, of course, the kids didn't like the first few things they begged for, so she's left with a sink full of dishes by breakfast.


If the laundry covers the floor, I bet it has already been washed and maybe even folded. Folded laundry, if you don't know this yet, is more valuable than any toy on the market.


If a mother seems fatigued or frazzled, you can safely assume that she is aware of it. Offer kind remarks about her radiance, her glow, or her patience. Kindness is more appreciated than brutal honesty in this case.


If her child is misbehaving, assume that she has exhausted every possible resource to provide him with the help he needs. Assume that she disciplines him perfectly and shows him the exact right amount of love and support. And please, for the love of all things good, find something positive to say about this child. Both the mother and child are exhausted and desperately need just one good thing to hold onto.


If you truly want to help her, assume that she needs time and genuine support. She needs time to be herself and to feel seen and heard. She also needs support as a mother. So if you can, refrain from making little remarks that may make her feel criticized.


If she says "no" to joining or helping or doing something, assume that her plate is already full. Whatever she has on her to-do list, she has reached her mental and emotional capacity.


And when she flakes out, forgive her. And assume that she is disappointed. Know that she genuinely wants to be there, but sometimes she simply lacks the energy to put on real pants. It's tough. Every single thing she goes through is tough. But she still wants to be included and invited.


All I'm trying to say is that it's generally okay to assume the best of a mother.

Offer genuine support to a mother:


1. Listen without judgment: One of the most valuable forms of support is being a good listener. Allow her to express her thoughts, feelings, and challenges without judgment. Provide a safe space for her to vent, share her experiences, and seek advice if she needs it.


2. Offer practical help: Identify specific ways you can help alleviate her workload or responsibilities. Offer to babysit her children for a few hours, help with household chores, or run errands on her behalf. Small gestures can make a big difference in reducing her stress.


3. Be proactive: Anticipate her needs and offer assistance before she has to ask for it. For example, if you notice she's been particularly busy or overwhelmed, surprise her with a home-cooked meal or offer to take her kids to the park for a few hours.


4. Validate her feelings: Motherhood can be challenging, and it's important to acknowledge her emotions and validate her experiences. Let her know that it's okay to feel tired, frustrated, or overwhelmed. Offer words of encouragement and remind her that she's doing a great job.


5. Be flexible and understanding: Recognize that her schedule may be unpredictable and that she may need to cancel plans or change them last-minute. Show understanding and flexibility when accommodating her needs and commitments.


6. Create a support network: Help her connect with other mothers who may be going through similar experiences. Encourage her to join parenting groups, online communities, or local support networks where she can share advice, seek guidance, and find solidarity with other moms.


7. Offer words of affirmation: Compliment her on her parenting skills, resilience, and dedication. Acknowledge the efforts she puts into raising her children and let her know that she is appreciated.


8. Encourage self-care: Remind her of the importance of self-care and encourage her to prioritize her well-being. Offer to watch her children while she takes some time for herself, whether it's for a relaxing bath, a walk in nature, or pursuing a hobby she enjoys.




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Baghicha Dheri

  A Glimpse into a Historical Village of Mardan Baghicha Dheri, meaning "fruit-bearing hill," is a notable village in the Mardan District of Pakistan, primarily inhabited by the Kakakhel tribe "Mian". Previously known as Surkh Dheri, this village has a rich history and a legacy of educational achievement, military excellence, and contributions to various sectors also known as "Chota Wilayat". The Mian family, a prominent lineage within the Kakakhel tribe, has played a significant role in shaping the village's identity and reputation. Historical Background Baghicha Dheri's history is steeped in tradition and community values. The Mian tribe (plural: Miangan) is held in high regard due to their noble origins and esteemed forefathers. However, it is important to note that they do not trace their descent from a single progenitor. The Mian tribe comprises Syeds, who claim lineage from the Prophet Muhammad through his daughter, Syedah Fatimah, and his so...
Read more

The Shifting Sands of Parenthood in Pakistan: Are We Raising Entitled Children?

 It's disheartening to observe how modern child-rearing practices in Pakistan seem to have inadvertently turned parents into servants of their children. The essence of parenthood has become clouded by anxiety over fulfilling materialistic demands and a pervasive sense of guilt. My daughter once remarked that many children in Pakistan are "entitled, spoiled brats" with an inflated sense of self-importance. This, I believe, is a consequence of contemporary parenting styles that over-pamper children, fostering overconfidence without a foundation of real-world understanding. Parenting should not be about raising selfish, self-absorbed individuals who are ill-equipped to face the realities of the world. Our goal should be to nurture compassionate, empathetic human beings who contribute to society with kindness and a sense of humanity. Another significant challenge is the interference of relatives in a child's upbringing. All too often, an aunt, uncle, or other close relati...
Read more

Dearest Young Girls ❤️

 The way you treat your mother reflects how life will treat you. A mother embodies love and life itself. A mother's love is unconditional—something no one else can provide. Don't judge her without understanding her. How often have you taken the time to listen to her? Have you engaged in conversations about her past? She may never have shared the struggles she endured before you came into her life. Consider the wounds she carries, the scars that reopen with each memory. Think of her painful past, the difficult moments when no one listened, and the mistreatment that left lasting impressions of harsh words, fears, and social abuse. Remember, your mom was once a lively, carefree soul, unburdened by worries or responsibilities. She lived a vibrant life full of energy, but everything changed with your birth. Suddenly, she began a new journey as a mother, transforming from a carefree girl into a protector, a responsible caregiver. Gradually, she started to lose herself, living solely ...
Read more